The Sarcastic Cynic™

Sarcastic and cynical view of the world.

Slam, slam, slam them cart doors! — November 20, 2013

Slam, slam, slam them cart doors!

And the Devil Will Drag You Under
And the Devil Will Drag You Under (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Slam, slam, slam them cart doors!

37 minutes after take-off a cute blonde with a short pony tail is finally pulling the beverage cart up the inclined aisle. I heard her banging the carts open and shut so many times that I think catering needs to set them better. She has an air of Pink, the sexy singer. She smiles comfortably. Maybe the guys are flirting with her. Maybe not, because she smiles at the women as well while asking if they wish to purchase, [37,000. 2:15 to touchdown] food. Today they’re serving Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen loaded wraps with a side of mashed potatoes and plenty of Sierra Mist.

Sexy Pink is married. I order a Baileys on the rocks and a can of Pringles. She also offers me peanuts. I compliment her for her beautiful wedding ring and her beauty. She’s a little bashful. [Mujeres Lindas by Vincente Fernandez, one of my mom’s favorite songs is playing] I notice Sexy Beauty  talking to a woman two rows in front.

Time to read Howard’s book And The Devil Will Drag You Under by Jack L. Chalker.

So far two jewels have been recovered. The Earth is still in peril of being hit by an asteroid. I’m beginning to think this devil is more dangerous than being made extinct by a big rock that will hit them in 2 days.

I get up to walk the dog. It’s occupied by the lady who also made the 2:01 flight back to LaGuardia International Airport. We were both confirmed for the 4:30 flight.  Sexy Pink is seated with her left leg in the aisle and her right leg facing parallel to our flight path. She adjusts her dress to try to cover her knees. It’s no use, I’ve already tried to not look that far down, while talking to her about 40 Thieves, a solitaire card game on her small iPad.  I greet the lady as she exits the bathroom which is to the right of the galley if you’re facing backwards. We met by the bridge as we entered the aircraft. I say hello and say good-bye to Sexy Pink, closing the door and feeling bad that she was still talking to me as I was closing it.

Another beauty, wearing a purple dress, high heeled boots, tall and well proportioned gets up to go to the bathroom. She returns from the bathroom swinging her hips up and down and after reaching her seat she turns back walking in my direction, to take a picture of her male colleague who is out cold. She leans back into my seat putting her hips an inch by my nose. I look at her great hips because I wanted to know what she was going to do with her cell phone. She apologizes for encroaching my space. I didn’t mind the view she gave me of her landscape.

Another woman heads to the bathroom. She’s wearing a comfortable ensemble. Sweats pants and pullover. [This is the End has finished playing. Now,  Compay Segundo…Llego a Puerto.]

Sent from my dumB iPad


As I Lay Here Living — November 5, 2013
I’m proud of my one-night stands and drug use… — October 31, 2013

I’m proud of my one-night stands and drug use…

Taken this year in the morning on Thursday, October 31. Sent via Adobe Photoshop Express (App Store | Google Play Store | Windows Store)

Sent from my dumb iPad

Is she out of her mind?  I can’t believe this woman would publish an autobiography to tell all.  She is still facing a retrial for the murder of  British student and roommate Meredith Kercher.  What is wrong with this picture?  How come she is being allowed to profit from a crime?  I’m beginning to change my view of this woman.  Her beauty and place of birth did make me biased in her favor and against an Italian court which couldn’t convict her despite the evidence against her.  Her family should have prevented this idiocy from happening.  I’m not sure why a woman would be so proud of being a slut and a drug user.


Michael Ramirez’ cartoon is offensive. — October 27, 2013

Michael Ramirez’ cartoon is offensive.

Columbia and Challenger at their moment of disintegration.


Taken this year from Wikipedia, in the morning on Sunday, October 27. Sent via Adobe Photoshop Express (App Store | Google Play Store | Windows Store)

Sent from my dumB iPad that is being sold for 1€!

Still don’t know what this is about?

Eyewitness: Paris — October 5, 2013
Again flying like a king over the United States of America, and seated behind me is… — September 5, 2013

Again flying like a king over the United States of America, and seated behind me is…

Again flying like a king over the United States of America, and behind me and across the aisle is a man who is coughing and sneezing. To make me feel better his wife is seated across from me with a 2-year-old child that is screaming “papa” like a banshee. I still can’t use my noise cancelling headsets to try make the 2y.o. disappear. We were just at the gate about to push off when she started to howl.

Now the 2y.o. is sleeping in the arms of her sleeping father. “I almost want to take a picture of them being so peaceful,” I tell his wife. “Go ahead,” she encourages me but I tell her that my camera is in the overhead compartment,so tightly packed and the only carry-on, that if I unpack it, I might not find the right combination again.

Now a father is chasing his little issue down the aisle. Running up the aisle in the opposite direction is the mom chasing the same little monster. I think it’s diaper change time.

I’m finding this flight very comical. The cynic in me is enjoying the suffering of those around me. Having children, traveling with children, and watching parents suffer the agonizing stares of the passengers. This is life.

I had just read Time magazine’s issue of “The Unhappy Warrior, Barack Obama ran for President to get the United States out of wars, not into them.

The Syria problem by Michael Crowly. I didn’t read the article but I did see Round Up, When planes go child- free. This is for real. Malaysia Airlines, Air Asia X and Scoot Airlines have plans to set quiet zones in first class and maybe other sectors of the plane.

Not quite free of children. They will still be allowed inside the plane.
The only times I’ve flown in total silence was after we resumed flights after 911.

As we’re waiting to disembark the little terror decides to talk to me. She tells me she’s two. She’s adorable! We talk. She corrects her 4 y.o. sister when she tells me that little terror is 3 y.o. An elderly man almost clobbers her with his carry on baggage. He lets go of his roll-a-board and the handle swings like a guillotine towards her. It misses her. I pick it up and hand it over to him. “Sir, don’t let go of your handle. You almost hit her.” The bastard doesn’t even thank me for lifting his bag off the floor. (Another rude Amer from New York or a Minnesotan).

Sent from my dumB iPad

NY Times report: App Store fraud a growing problem | Jim Karpen | iPhone Life — April 5, 2012
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