The Sarcastic Cynic™

Sarcastic and cynical view of the world.

An Open Letter To Pattie Mallette. — January 30, 2014

An Open Letter To Pattie Mallette.

An Open Letter To Pattie Mallette..

Hello, Pattie.

I am currently on a self-imposed break from blogging, but as the father of a 15-year-old daughter and a member of a society that has found itself inundated by news of the increasingly-horrible meltdown of one of the world’s biggest pop stars, I find I can no longer contain myself. I have some things to say to you and you’re not going to like any of them but tough noogies, they have to be said.

I refuse to refer to you as “Justin Bieber’s Mom” for two reasons: Continue reading

Argentina Was in the Bull’s Eye — November 16, 2013

Argentina Was in the Bull’s Eye

European GOCE Satellite Falls To Earth In Fiery Death Dive  |  By Tariq MalikPosted: 11/11/2013 12:44 am EST

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satellite falls

Satellite Falls To Earth In Fiery Death Dive.  It  Almost Hits Argentina.

A European satellite met its fiery doom in Earth’s atmosphere late Sunday (Nov. 10), succumbing to the same gravitational pull of the planet that it spent the last four years mapping like never before.

The European Space Agency’s GOCE satellite fell from space Sunday at 7 p.m. EST (0000 Nov. 11 GMT) while flying on a path that would take it over Siberia, the Western Pacific Ocean, the eastern Indian Ocean and Antarctica, ESA officials said.  Read more…

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Justin Bieber’s Greatest Acts of Idiocy — August 13, 2013
While My Guitar Gently Weeps With Justin Bieber —

While My Guitar Gently Weeps With Justin Bieber

I don’t know how you were diverted
You were perverted too
I don’t know how you were inverted
No one alerted you

The Beatles

Did we needed to see a naked Justin Bieber?

Perverted fool, holding a guitar in front of his naked torso, just like the naked cowboy of Times Square who at least has the decency to wear white underwear.

I am alerting you to not see the next two pictures if the sight of Justin Bieber makes you retch.

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Bieber: An Unsuccessful Inseminator! — November 20, 2011

Bieber: An Unsuccessful Inseminator!

Now that the paternity suit against Justin Bieber has been dropped, he can breathe a sigh of relief. Let’s face it: Whether or not Bieber is actually the father of a fan’s baby, which he denied, it couldn’t have been fun fighting off the bad press that he knocked up a groupie in a bathroom after one of his shows.


Apparently the accuser couldn’t even prove she had attended the concert where she met the alleged inseminator.

Only 30 seconds… — November 3, 2011

Only 30 seconds…

“So I’m going to ignore the rumors, and focus on what is real, an opportunity to help by doing what I love.  Judge me on the music!  Love y’all.”

Mariah Yeater alleges that her son, Tristyn Anthony Markhouse Yeater, was conceived in a half-minute.  It was a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am encounter.

  “I asked him to put on a condom, but he insisted that he did not want to, because it was his first time and he wanted to feel everything.  He then quickly took off my clothes, and we had sex.  I was on top of some sort of shelf.  The sexual intercourse was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds.  He was clearly embarrassed about how the sex did not last very long.”

Yeater claims she tried to contact him after she got pregnant, but his representatives never called her back.

If this malicious, salacious account of his alleged first successful sexual penetration is true,  then these might be the 30 seconds that will destroy his squeaky clean image.

Not surprising, his fans are coming to the rescue.  A fan on Twitter wrote:  “Dear Mariah Yeater, Roses are Red…Stay away from Bieber or the Beliebers will KILL YOU.” @SessyKidrahl

Is Justin Bieber a Successful Inseminator? — November 2, 2011

Is Justin Bieber a Successful Inseminator?

Baby (Justin Bieber song)
Image via Wikipedia

Justin Bieber’s “legal team” is denying allegations that he fathered a child with a fan. Why is Justin Bieber not denying the allegations himself? I’m sure his team does not want him answering any questions about these charges which could seriously damage his squeaky-clean image. He has openly criticized casual sex, and would have been just 16 at the time of the alleged encounter.

Is this another case of,  “I did not have sexual relations with that woman?” The Californian woman, Mariah Yeater claims she had sex with the 16-year-old pop sensation a year ago, and that her three-month-old baby boy is his. Yeater told a California court that Bieber propositioned her on October 25 of last year, when she was 19.

She is requesting the court to force Justin Bieber to undergo a DNA test to prove, indeed, that he is a successful inseminator, and of course she’s also asking for reasonable child support, effective immediately.”

If the court orders this child to submit to DNA tests, and if the tests do confirm the paternity of this child to be Justin Bieber, then this woman is opening herself to charges of statutory rape since the age of consent in California is 18.

Stay tuned. This I’m sure will be front page news all over the world.

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