The Sarcastic Cynic™

Sarcastic and cynical view of the world.

Sri Air, an experience in comfort. — December 4, 2013

Sri Air, an experience in comfort.

Sri Air, an experience in comfort.

On board Sri Air, Non-stop service to Boise, Idaho, featuring a soft-speaking effeminate sounding flight leader,  a polite black male,  a mustachioed little fat man, a  red-haired blonde white female, and hard working polite black male.

My neighbors: a man from India, a Mitt Romney from Utah, and curly.

Price: €5. Sri Lankan Expense cards are warmly welcomed on all Sri Air flights. MasterCard, Visa, Discover and Diners Club are also accepted.

How nice to warmly accept my plastic for payment. I hear [coffee, coffee! coffee]. The little fat guy is screaming. I was getting ready to jump to action. I could hear him clearly through my Miguel Bosé signature Noise Canceling headphones. Now everybody who sings has a new gimmick to make someone more money. “Do you have a napkin?” I ask the little fat man who is now picking up the trash he just created. He raises his eyebrows in a peculiar way. He’s trying to tell me, by his expression that he is only picking up trash. “Bring them later I tell him before… [a ding???turbulence! cruising at 34 thousand and please remain in your seats…co-pilot announces]… I short circuit his eyebrows.

So far a very nice flight to Boise, Idaho where I will meet Edward and his son Martin. He was born over 21 years ago, Edward married recently Beata, Martin’s mother. My first ski trip of the year. [Double ding and I hear nothing else] Napkins still haven’t arrived 0830. I’m going to wait for eyebrows the little fat man to see if he does return, bringing the napkins I requested.

Seated next to me is a man from India and a crossword nut, wearing corduroy pants, a yellow checkered shirt, a blue vest and white hair. He’s studying the puzzle before he puts the pen to paper.

[Ding seat belt sign is now off] Still no napkins and no little fat man!

Watching trailers for some crappy movies…Jackie Robinson, a study in racism. Nothing much has changed in the United States of America #42 a number Mariano Rivera retired with this year with the NY Yankees. The Wolverine, R.I.P.D.,THE PURGE, Pain & Gain, , Pacific Rim. I’m throwing away better movies on DVD, than these on board Sri Air.

I give up waiting…I ring the call button and the fight leader tells me the napkins are in the restroom. Why would napkins be in the restroom I don’t need female sanitary napkins. I guess he misunderstood my hand gestures. It’s very difficult to hear passengers when they’re being drowned by the din of the wind hitting the wing and the engines and the other guests. Mr. X-word, is probably wearing Dependability diapers, and Idaho is sleeping like a baby. He just adjusted his legs to slide further in under the seat in front of him.

2 Guns, Adore, more air bubbles percolating in the atmosphere. Bumps in the air but no ding from the cockpit.


…talk about a complicated relationship. Provocative and troubling…

Mothers in search of sexual action…an increasingly complicated relationship. Liaisons with danger, Adore..”I don’t want to stop. I don’t see why I have to.”

Imagine me falling in love with my best friend’s daughter and he mine. Would never happen but Woody Allen did something more outrageous. He married Soon Ji, his step daughter

The East, experience the horror of your crime. More adjustments by Idaho. Now we’re knee to knee. Conjuring,

Pretty black woman wearing red and black, tripped over someone in the aisle. She looks back to see damage and continues to restroom.

Fast and Furious 6… Rest in Peace, an actor died yesterday while seated in the passenger seat of a Porsche. They might have been filming without a permit. Saw news in Fayetteville, NC. I drove up yesterday using Interstate road 95 in a Hinid Discord at the speed limits mandated by the counties intersecting 301. This is a dangerous road for speeders, tickets are gladly given by The Great Gatsby,

Water run skips us…Idaho wakes up…red head avoids us because of the man in the aisle. She moves on to the front of the plane. This is the first time I’ve seen this flight attendant. I’ve seen three black men numerous times. The whites are hiding.

The Hangover III, “I can’t believe my daddy is dead, I could think of many other people I would have preferred dying before him….like my mother…!”

Idaho rests both hands on the TV screen. He’s using his thumbs to tap the screen into action.

Ciao, arrivederci, good crew, minus the whites.

“I believe I can fly.” A line in this dumb movie.

The flight attendants seem to be avoiding eye contact with their guests. The 2 white ones rushed through without serving anything, to rows 27 – 20. Row 19 Yes!

Time to be obnoxious with my only weapon.

The shade…tall black, and little fat man walk by, going towards the front of this airplane, and no sooner than typing these few letters, the little fat man, makes a u-turn to return to hide in the cavernous galley of this 757 200-E.

Time to order food.

I have to ask Idaho if he ever intends to get up, and I don’t mean that kind of get up men experience in their sleep. Another walk through and no cart is present. I ask the tall black gentleman if they’re going to do a second service by asking if he is going to come out with the cart. I ask for Coke and two bags of peanuts, Curly looks back at me. Nosy curly sits in the aisle and I, in my prison by the window. Flying is not like what I used to remember doing. Cramped seats, grumpy old men, nosy curly haired men. I guess I also qualify in the nosy,curly,grumpy category. The coke and peanuts are still not here. I don’t know about…”Sir!” I hear someone exclaim. “Oh, thank you.” I respond. I like this crewman. I think he’s an asset to this airline. I will write a commendation. He is the most gracious, polite, sharp dressed young man of this crew.

They finally let me get out for good behavior. I slide quickly across three seats before, white hair changes his mind. The two instead of stepping out into the aisle on the same side, bookend end me between them. White hair is tall and Idaho is not as tall. I tap white hair. He glares at me, looking down his nose at puny little me. I know his type. They run for president of the United States of America and pay no taxes. A la Mitt Romney.

I go towards the Lavatory by the,Left Second door of the plane where I’ve been watching with envy many people emptying their organs. A woman who has probably had an orgasm while flushing, jumps ahead in front of me. Darn it. I race to the other section and before the three vacationing flight attendants intercept me, I open the door and breathe a sigh of relief. Upon exiting the lavatory, I notice the red haired one is still holding a blue tray with cups filled to the brim with water. That’s about two hours since she missed our row. What a strong woman! I also notice the two men with their smart phones busy tapping away. No wonder they disappeared. They’re too busy enjoying the internet and talking to each other. Sri Air might like to read about their actions. I’ll have to inquire about their “service standards.”

I stop by the galley where people have been serving themselves for about 2 hours. She approaches me and rudely tells me about her job security. I had taken a cup and filled myself one with water from a large bottle. I’m dehydrated and suffering from leg cramps. Flying really is not what I used to remember. The seats seem even more cramped than ever. I wonder if I can sue Sri Air, for damages and lack of service. I fill two cups and ask for a third because she has emptied the bottle I was using. Job security indeed! This blindfish older woman should perhaps curb her tongue and do some customer service. There she goes again to the front of the cabin.

I return in the direction of my seat and White hair tries to put me back in prison. I refused his “kind” offer. Idaho is still not back. I continue to the rear galley where I run in the hippie that has the most walking mileage on this flight. It will be a minute he yell to his wife who is about ten rows away. “What,” is all I lip read. Hippie wants to know gates and locations of airlines in Boise.

I enquire about the food and find it unacceptable at those prices. I’ll eat at Idaho’s finest Chinese restaurant. PfChang!

Oh my, blindfish is returning from the front carrying nothing. She must be resting her arms.

I return to my row, but instead of sitting down I stay by white hair who ignores me. Good! I see the Captain exit his work area to use the bathroom and I see the little black man run to the second galley. He takes from the food cart, a fruit and cheese plate and a sandwich. The Captain accepts the unacceptable food. It’s sad how the little fat man, fawns to this “god of the air.”

Little mustache is still in his cave..oops he just goes by to talk to sharp, polite flight attendant in second galley.

Outside it’s still cloudy, sunny and hot and cold. Here comes the cart with little mustache going backwards. Where’s “job security?” 1:16 to go 10967m, flying over Colorado. Near Boulder.

We’ve landed and I start to put my stuff away. I pick up X-word’s paper to see how much he has done. He’s an amateur crossword solver. Not much in 5 hours.

When I exit, there are still passengers inside the tube that carried us to Boise, and there is no one to greet me, to thank me for flying Sri Air. I look back and notice a uniformed flight attendant in the premium economy section of the plane. “Oh I work for the airline, I’m going home,” she tells me when I ask her why she is still sitting there. I thank Moonique and Tawanda, after they place a sticker on my boarding card. I am the tail of the boarding conga line.

There’s someone seated in my seat.

Indulge, relax, and rejuvenate with a visit to Serenity Spa by Westgate. This world-class facility is a full-service, mountain retreat-style spa. Let us pamper you in a grand setting that will surely be a highlight of your stay. With 30,000 square feet of luxurious treatment rooms and magnificent amenities, Serenity Spa by Westgate promises a vacation within your vacation.

Too bad flying is not like this advertisement in my hotel. Breathe in and relax.

Sent from my dumB iPad

Visa, Mastercard processor acknowledges security breach — March 31, 2012

Visa, Mastercard processor acknowledges security breach

Global Payments Inc. has acknowledged a security breach. Your accounts are vulnerable.

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Visa Card Verification via — January 5, 2012

Visa Card Verification via

Credit card
Image via Wikipedia

Last month as the holidays were approaching I received an e-mail from France.    It wanted me to verify my Visa Card by giving them all the information you see in the form below.  Are you kidding?  I don’t know why these people who go fishing for information think there are so many stupid Americans who will just fill out any form that is sent their way.  The interesting part of this form is the logo for American Express and Mastercard.  These people not satisfied to just verify only your Visa cards have also extended for your convenience, Verified by Visa for your American Express and Mastercard credit cards.


Why am I seeing extra information next to the sender’s name?

Gmail believes that by adding more information about the origin of a message, you can be better informed about who sent the message and can avoid confusion. For example, if someone fakes a message from a sender that you trust, like your bank, you can use this information to see that the message is not really from your trusted sender. The information that we use to display this information is included in the message headers but these headers can be hard to understand. Gmail analyzes this information and displays it in a simple to read format.

Card Verification

Service Visa via
12/23/11 (12 days ago)
to me
Verified By VisaMasterCard SecureCode

Update Your Credit Card Online

Please fill out the below form to protect you against fraudulent use of your credit card Verifed By Visa adopted solution SecureCode ™.

First name :
Last name * :
Address Line 1 * :
Address Line 2 * :
Town/City * :
Pastcode * :
Date of Birth :
Mother’s Maiden Name:
Social Security Number:  –  –
Card Type * :          
Debit or credit card number * :
Expiry date:
Card Verification Number:  

Verifed by visa will guarantee payment secured by SSL encryption technology. Learn more

 Paiement par carte bancaire

 Votre moyen de paiement

Vous pouvez régler par carte bancaire, Eurocard, Masterdcard, en toute sécurité :

  • le paiement est sécurisé avec procédé de cryptage SSL (Secure Socket Layer). Ce procédé sécurise les échanges, il permet le cryptage de certaines informations lors de leur transmission sur Internet. Le numéro de votre carte ne circule pas en clair sur le réseau.
  • les informations communiquées lors de votre acte d’achat ne seront en aucun cas divulguées, Orange prend des engagements dans ses conditions générales de vente.
  • conformément à la loi Informatique et Libertés du 6 janvier 1978, vous avez un droit d’accès et de rectification aux informations vous concernant.


Ce numéro de contrôle (3 derniers chiffres dans l’espace signature) permet d’accroître la sécurité de votre transaction en ligne.


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